OMG Metal Gear.com

Today Gamedaily posted a piece they call, Most Cracked Out Metal Gear Bosses. I mean, come on. Every Metal Gear boss character is cracked out. Most are so beyond cracked out that you'd think they must get their drugs from space or something. Anyway I'll share with you all a condensed version of their list and maybe put a little spin of my own on it - if you're lucky, which you are...

Okay. It's not hard to make a list of the Most Cracked Out Metal Gear Bosses. The hard part is seeing these guys through their benders and living to tell the story. So I'll take Gamedaily's list one step further by describing exactly what kind of drugs these Bosses are on. Below you'll find a list of seven Metal Gear bosses and their favorite drugs and corresponding effects. Don't take this list too seriously though, lest you wind up like Psycho Mantis, convulsing and with nonsense dribbling from your half-numb mouth.

Psycho Mantis:
- Speed: psychosis, depression, malnutrition
- Meth: deep sores on face and skin
- Crack: chronic sore throat, hoarseness, and shortness of breath

Grey Fox:
- Pain Killers (Morphine, Percocet, Oxycotin): Severe anxiety, muscle spasms, tremors
- PCP (angel dust, sherm): inability to feel physical pain, out of body experiences, violent behavior

Vamp:
- Antidepressants (Xanax, Prozac): constipation, drowsiness, failed libido
- Opium: Slurred speech, slow gait
- Steroids: feminine traits in men, invulnerability

Fatman:
- Marijuanna: Increased appetite
- Ritalin: excessive repetition of movements and meaningless tasks
- Cocaine: talkativeness

The Sorrow:
- Cocaine: Bleeding nose and eyes
- LSD: chronic recurring hallucinations, persistent after-life
- Morphine: floating

The Pain
- Meth: formication (the sensation of insects creeping on or under your skin)
- Ecstacy (MDMA): a sense of increased insightfulness and introspective ability
- Adam (Insect Swarm): How else could he shoot bees out of his mouth?

The End
- Marijuanna (uberchronic): red eyes, drowsiness, moss growing from scalp
- Mushrooms: heightened senses, loss of the sense of boundaries between their self and the environment

Now you know why Snake's buddies are so delusional, neurotic and just plain f-ed up. Remember kiddies; drugs are bad - mkay.

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